Social sites

        
                                                 Social Sites
        
        Facebook is touted as a social site. Actually it is more like a bulletin board. Only people put things on facebook that don't belong on public display.  It may seem harmless until you consider that anything can be forwarded indefinitely to people that have no business knowing what you are doing, or where you live, or what cute kids you have. Hackers and sex offenders can easily find your address and pay you, or your kids, a visit. If you think I am being too pessimistic, pick up a newspaper. Oops, sorry, who reads newspapers anymore!  Read the news on the internet, watch it on television, or your smart phone, or your ipad. The point is, privacy is fast disappearing and I see no point in helping it along.

        There is much that I find wonderful about modern technology and all the tools it puts at our disposal. (I spend a great deal of time staring at the screen when I could be doing something more productive.) The world is at our fingertips with only a stroke on a keyboard and I would be sorry if it disappeared.

      To me, a social network is friends sitting around my kitchen talking exchanging ideas, news, jokes, or whatever. THAT is called conversation, where everyone contributes to and gleans from.  Confidential communication is crying with a trusted friend over some heartache or misfortune and you know it will never be passed on to others.  

       There were some commercials of a girl sitting at a table bragging about having over 600 friends, while her parents were out socializing with their friends. That is a sad commentary on signs of the times. For myself, I would rather be looking at friends and have a 'real' conversation than reading a bulletin board. 

        That is my opinion and hope it will be respected. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I would be happy to discuss it further if you choose to contact me at: yacker40@yahoo.com.

         

holidays

    
                                            Holidays

       Holidays in the past meant family filling my grandparents house when I was a child with cousins galore to play with, outside regardless of the weather. After all there were 39 of us and add the adults and the house couldn't hold all of us at once. the men ate first and the women reheated the food, washed the dishes then fed the kids. After that was done they reheated the food again, washed the dishes and ate.  I don't know when it changed to the kids eating first but a lot of things had changed since then.  After I married and had my own growing family, it still meant family around the table enjoying the traditional food and conversation, much centering on 'what I want's for Christmas.

     The day after Thanksgiving was when the tree was dragged out of storage, erected and decorated with all kinds of ornaments from fragile antiques balls to children's paper cutouts. All held a special meaning, some only to me that had to  be displayed.  Mysteriously, everyone disappeared at the time, leaving me to do it, reappearing when it was done.  

     I never shopped on Black Friday, which is a very recent invention by retailers. My cousin Nancy and I would shop on the following Monday, returning  with the car loaded with parcels and bags to be hidden until we could get them wrapped and under the tree. One trip I sampled the new men's cologne by putting it on my wrist and it smelled so bad I hung my hand out the window all the way home.  She and I were as close as sisters and we always had fun but could confide in and cry with each other. She is gone now and I miss her.

      Besides the gifts purchased, there were the tradition of new pajamas for the kids for Christmas Eve which has carried through the years although at this point I think it means more to me than to them.  Other years the meal consisted of garden produce that had been frozen or prepared ahead of time, including yeast rolls that didn't come from the grocery. The early years were the best when the children were little and our dreams still untarnished by circumstance. 

       Divorce and death affect these two holidays more than any others, at least for me, as  traditions fall by the wayside making it 'just another day'.  It has been hard in the past to try to enjoy being with others, even though I knew I was welcome, mourning and regretting events of the past. Feeling that somehow it would affect the others. A 'Gloomy Gus'  is no fun to be around.

        This year I chose to be alone to finish my book, spirit driven by the Holy Spirit which gives new meaning to the term 'Ghost writer'!  I wasn't lonely, sad, or depressed as I passed that a long time ago. Acceptance of things as they are is my reality. Randy Travis says it best in "Three Wooden Crosses". "it's not what you take when you leave the world behind you, it's what you leave behind you when you go." 

     My hope is that I will leave something of value behind.....or at least memories to laugh about.

Getting older

   
                                                          Aging Gracefully

  All my life I was told 'beauty is only skin deep' and in one sense it is. In another the loss of youth is not always a pleasant process for us 'old ladies'. After I had my cataract surgery, the old lady in the bathroom mirror appeared older than before the surgery.  I have joked about it, but I assure you it was not funny!  It was a shock to realize that I really looked like that; wrinkles, sagging eye lids and, horrors, the turkey wattle instead of  one chin and smooth throat.  Knowing that there really wasn't anything I could do about it, short of major plastic which I couldn't afford and seeing how it is done wouldn't do even if I did have the money.

        Trying to come to terms with my appearance was a struggle, feeling how unfair it was to have my looks not gibe with my inner self.  I read somewhere that an 18 year old girl still lives in every female regardless of her age and I resented that fact that the world viewed me as 'old' when I didn't feel old.

         Those of you have read The Velveteen Rabbit may remember the following quote which had an astonishing effect on me and my struggle with the march of time. The following quote from The Velveteen Rabbit helped me to realize that becoming 'real' is not unlike growing older;

               
               "     It doesn't happen all at once. You become. It takes a

          long time. That's why it doesn't happen to people who break

          easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.

          Generally by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been

           loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints

           and are very shabby.

                     But these things don't matter at all, because you are Real.

           You can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

                   

     So all you young lovelies out there, the next time you see an old person, keep in mind that you won't always be young, or vital, or energetic and think the world is your oyster. Regardless of age, everyone needs love, affection, attention and caring. So be patient with them and think of the wrinkles, gray hair and quaking limbs as battle scars, and remember, now they are Real.

immunizations

   
                                                                Immunizations

  In the 1940s and early 1950s, the most dreaded and feared illness was polio. There was no known cause, no known cure. Mild cases left mild effects, worst ones left patients living in iron lungs for the rest of their lives or never walking again. Children were kept out of crowds and were not allowed to swim during the 'dog days' of August, which was two precautions parents took. They didn't really have any effect but at least they felt they were doing 'something'. When a child complained of a headache or stiff neck, the parents panicked as that was usually the first symptoms. 

         The Salk vaccine was released to the public in 1955, which was a major development in the medical field and parents felt Dr. Salk was a savior of their children. Now it is routine to immunize babies against this in addition to whooping cough, measles, tetanus, etc., which parents take for granted.   What the public doesn't know is about some of the tests before it was released for public use.

       In early September of 1952, a number of counties in the country were chosen as target test areas. Franklin county, Illinois was one of them.  Essentially, they wanted to see how many children it would kill or maim before they would release it. I was one of those children, in addition to every grade school age child in the county.  Children in Coello, Mulkeytown, Buckner and Christopher were run through like cattle in Christopher grade school cafeteria. Long tables were manned by nurses with syringes loaded with all the vaccines available at the time. Smallpox vaccination is the only one I remember besides the Salk vaccine.  

     No one objected, balked, cried or questioned. We simply accepted that these ladies in the white dresses knew best. Some of us, including me, had never had a shot, took an antibiotic or saw a doctor on a regular basis.  

      I remembered it happening but didn't know the rest of the story until I happened to see it on The History Channel.  The kicker? Our parents were not asked to give permission and didn't even know it was planned until it was over and done. (My mother verified this.) Probably our parents would have been thrilled that something could prevent crippling or killing their children, gladly giving permission had they been asked.  

      Out of all the test groups, 8 children died from the vaccine, which they considered to be successful, paving the way for the elimination of this disease.

     Suppose someone came up with a vaccine for cancer. Would you want your child to receive it? Without your permission or knowledge? Would you be willing to take it? 

      Salk vaccine tests ended with a positive outcome, benefitting all people everywhere, but imagine for a minute it had killed or maimed the majority of the children. Parents today might still be dreading polio and it's effects and hoping for a cure instead of routinely being inoculated.  As for me, I am glad he dared to try and happy he succeeded.  What about you?
       
      
       
      

Divorce

      A  recent comment on Facebook seemed to call for a new post.  Pat Robertson made the comment that divorce was an option for a person whose mate had Alzheimers which the writer and following comments were very much against this and one seemed to say divorce was never an option. If I am mistaken, I apologize. As a twice divorced woman, I see things from a very different position.  I gave up on my first marriage after 32 years of trying to do my part to make it work and have the battle scars to prove it.  The second ended when I discovered he was a child molester.  Circumstances have to be taken into account, which we never have all of them unless it is happening to us.

       Having a mate with this terrible condition is a different case and caring for one has to be a formidable burden in addition to technically being alone.  People of all ages need companionship, comfort, and affection; hugs, kisses and just having someone to talk to who understands, to have dinner with, see a movie or enjoy the give and take of everyday life.  Even though the mate is lost in the jungle of their own mind, or lack of, the spouse still needs these things.  So is it wrong to spend time with another lonely person dealing with the same thing or left due to the death of their life-mate?  Does it take anything away from the one no longer living in this world with only the body left which is incapable of giving anything? If so, what? Does anything get through the fog of alzheimers? If not, should one martyr themselves, believing that suffering alone will earn them stars in their crown?  I can't answer these questions as, thank God, I have never stood in those shoes and pray I never will.

       In Genesis, God said it wasn't good for man to be alone. Life was meant to be shared with another person, regardless of whether they are free to marry or not.  We were created in His image and the need for human interaction is bred into us at birth. And that includes the ones who have much to give and no one able to accept any longer.  Compassion for all is the key that unlocks the door of understanding, letting us have a view of another's world and pain, and possibly being able to help in some way without judgement or condemnation.

       If one divorced an alzheimer patient in order to marry, I wouldn't be so quick to condemn as the brain, the very essence, of the mate is gone, leaving a grieving mate looking forward to possibly years alone. Try to see it from the view of the man/woman who sees the one they loved moving farther and farther away from them, incapable of any feeling or caring.

          So give your husband/wife a kiss and hug and thank God they are with you in mind, body and spirit, able to laugh, fight, solve problems and play with you and pray that they never leave you in such a cruel way.

                                Peace, Joy and Blessing to all

         

                                   

Rachel

muddin'

         Rachel is my grand-daughter, my oldest grand-child and today is her 23rd birthday.  Before she came into my life I had always wanted  a little girl I could dress in frills and lace, dreaming of the things I could make for her. Guess what! she never liked frills and lace, only wearing them if bribed or black-mailed.

        Children learn very early how to get what they want from Grand-parents, which isn't hard.  I let her do things my children never did. Like eating powered sugar out of the bag, licking the icing out of oreos and, among other things, watching videos all day.....the Wizard of Oz three times in one day....Hey! She wanted to so I let her!  Of course, I had to watch it with her.  She also liked me to play (badly) the keyboard with her at my elbow.  One of the demo songs she would have me play, 'Grandfathers clock', repeatedly. She had me write down the words so she could sing it to Mom. (she couldn't read yet!)

Rachel and Uncle Jason

          At one time my husband and I had racing pigeons which required training flights, driving as far as Farmington, Mo, turning them loose and driving back home. Rachel and I did this most of time so to entertain her, after the powdered donuts and juice was gone, I told her Bible stories in my own words.  At one point she was convinced that satan lived in the water tower as it was painted HOME OF THE RED DEVILS.  Hard to tell how a kid will interpret things.

Gavin, Rachel, and Hannah

        I tried to add some pictures of Rachel as a child and were denied. Hannah her cousin, gives a fair picture of how she looked at that age.                              

She wasn't always this sweet little thing, for instance ..... Laying in the bathroom floor, sick with the flu, wailing "I want Mama."  After assuring her I would do what I could my final words were, "Sorry, little girl, you are stuck with me."  A few days later her 2 year old brother told another of my sobbing charges, with a shrug of his shoulders, "you're stuck with her."
           She has tried to talk me into going with her to a concert which I considered too loud, didn't like climbing bleachers, etc.  Well! She has been harassing me since I went to a Josh Turner concert and had a great time, screaming and yelling with like a teen ager!  So I am taking this public forum to apologize and promising to go with her to one..........................if she gets the tickets.
          The time allotted to us on this earth is passing rapidly and cannot be regained so enjoy and make the most of it.
            HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY GIRL, I LOVE YOU

rednecks and country music

       Until this week-end, I thought rednecks were found only below the Mason-Jefferson county line.  Not true, which proves even senior citizens don't know everything.

      A friend, Lowanda, invited me to travel north with her to her 'home town' to  meet her friends and enjoy some good ol' country music.  That wasn't a surprise as the old sounds are popular all over the country.  However, the rest of the time spent in East Peoria was not what I expected.

     Friday night we attended a jam session.....in a garage that was part music studio and part storage area.  Seating was odd chairs, stools and a couple of couches plus a couple of tables with food and a frig filled with drinks.  Everything that was needed for an evening of dining and dancing. Of course, dancing took place in the driveway under the basketball hoop between the sagging swing and unsteady picnic table.

      The musicians ranged from aging seniors to a young teen-ager, including my red headed friend who, in time passed, had played and sang professionally with some of the musicians  I met that night. So far, things seemed fairly normal.

      Saturday night we visited 'The Center Tap' which is where I saw some sights that, had I not known better, would have guessed I was in the 'Iron Horse' (better know as 'the Ghetto') on Saturday night with the same assortment of odd patrons. One old guy, wearing a poncho with wolf designs printed on it, was stumbling around trying to give away pizza that looked like singed cardboard,  girls in tight tank tops paired with shorts or  skirts 2 sizes too small, the barely legal young drinkers proving how tough they could be and one passed out with his head resting on the table while the music assaulted your ear drums.  More men with pony tails, head bands and missing teeth were there than I had seen in a long while....Maybe they just like to hang around together or fight each other which could account for the teeth situation. After all, if you can't fight with your friends who else can you fight with. Kinda keeps it in the family.

      Next stop was the Eagles with two other friends, Eddie and Jack, playing chaperone to us, or us to them. The band played the old country music and most of the crowd was dancing and enjoying themselves.  It could have been anywhere in the country on a summer Saturday night.
         On Sunday a benefit was held for a seriously ill man with a mountain of  medical debts piling up and needing help. Some of the people there did not know this man nor care. All they knew was he needed help and that is all that mattered. Not if he deserved it, or would use it wisely.  That to me is part of showing Christian love.
       The same people who played friday night were in the group of musicians entertaining.  All matter of items were auctioned off to raise more funds and food was served. While in standing in line to get a soda, a tall, thin man leaning against the wall tried to start a conversation with me. Neither he nor I could hear as the music was so loud.  With an apologetic smile, I shrugged, got my soda and returned to my table.  Too bad, you say?  He was 95! 
       For some reason, I expected Peoria to be citified, maybe like Chicago, but found it much like Franklin county.  People are just as friendly, generous and      out-going as home folk.  Invitations were extended to me for anytime I cared to come to the big city with the small town smack dab in the middle of it. I would, only if I don't have to go to the Center Trap...excuse me that is Center Tap!