kids tricks

      Kids will do things that have us either shaking our heads, screaming, or dragging them to the woodshed.  Of course that last one is a no-no although I knew some kids that were cured of some very unacceptable behavior in that fashion.  We all have memories of this kind of behavior.  The summer I was 6 or so, our maple tree was stripped of small branches as high as my mother could reach.  those suckers sting like crazy when used on the lower legs.

     So on that note, travel back with me to the summer of 1946 about 10 in the morning. The girl next door and I had been flying balsa wood (now made of styrofoam) airplanes in the yard. Considering they didn't hold up to more than once hitting the ground, there wasn't much you could do with them..............except swipe some farmer's matches from the kitchen, go to the outhouse and play with fire, the trick being to drop them down the hole before they burned our fingers.  Doesn't sound too bad does it?  Keep in mind that you don't flush when you are finished, regardless of what Shrek did in his toilet.  Located in the recesses below is paper, usually catalog pages of which the black and white ones were better since the  colored pages were very slick, if you get the picture. So what happens when matches and paper meet? Right! the paper burns.

       So we had burned most of the airplanes when the smoke began to roll out the back, through the cracks, and out the door, even though it was closed , leaving a 2 inch gap.  My friend headed for home on the double while I ran up the walk to the back step, sitting down primly, playing little miss innocent. 

       Several of the neighbor men came running and had it put out in short order.  Of course, I had to 'fess up; I never was a very good liar.  For the first and only time, my mother said, "Wait till your Dad gets home." I don't know a child whose blood doesn't run cold at those words. I imagined all sorts of punishments, not that my Dad was harsh in the least; I probably can count on one hand the times he spanked me.  All he had to do was look at me, talking through his teeth and tell me to quit whatever I was doing.

      Back to the story:  I sat on those concrete steps all day. I couldn't eat, drink, or talk (imagine that!) and although it was hot weather I sat and shivered with my teeth chattering.  Talk about waiting for the executioner to come! I was a wreck!

      Four o'clock finallly came with my rear dimpled by the rough concrete and my nerves shot, as much as a 6 years old nerves can be. As he drove in the driveway, Mom came out the back door, stepping around me and met him in the yard.  I listened as she told him this awful thing I had done. Not daring to look at him, I hung my head and waited for the ax to fall.

      My precious father collapsed in a lawn chair laughing so hard he could hardly breathe as I broke into the  tears that had been held back all day. Something had to give at that moment or I would have exploded.

      It was a relief to know that no further punishment was coming my way and it was a long, long time before I could look at a match with cringing.
      Just as I didn't mean to set the outhouse on fire, or the many other things I did that civilized people shouldn't do, children just can't think of the consequences of their actions and shouldn't be expected to act as miniature adults. So the next time your, or one of the neighbors kids, do something that has you shaking your head, screaming, or wanting to take them somewhere the equivalent of the wood shed, remember something that your inner child did and cut the current generation some leeway till they learn........and try to laugh about it..

                                   Nightey Night